dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
