honey bunches of taint.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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