i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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