note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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