I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
