but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
