You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
