I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
