I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
