What did we do last night that was yellow?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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