It's like God shit irony all over that family
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize