im six kinds of drunk right now
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
