Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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