Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
