I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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