took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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