the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize