Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize