Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
