I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
