let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
