He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
