i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
