Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
