tell your sister to shave her snatch
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
