I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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