I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
