I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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