Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize