We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
