Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
