My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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