I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
