it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
His nipple licking is glorious
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