Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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