What a fucking waste of an outfit
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
