What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize