i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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