Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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