and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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