UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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