Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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