It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
