So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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