how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
