Your mouth is God's brothel.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
