please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
