No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
