We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
