I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
