I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
