Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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