...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
