OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize