i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
