I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
