Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
