I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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