My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
