I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
